Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 100441 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100441 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
“I have to do it? Says who?”
“Me.”
“Last I checked, you weren’t the boss of me.”
His hands find my shoulders. “You deserve this. You want this. You can’t keep Kaylee locked in a tower her whole life.”
“She can’t come on tour with us. Which would mean leaving her for months. I’m not okay with that.”
“From the sound of it, Harley wants you two to make your own rules. Set up tours for the summer when she’s out of school, and pay me to go with you as her nanny. Or hell, pay Maggie to be her nanny … Wait, is it technically being a nanny if it’s her mom?” He shakes his head. “Either way, this is doable. You just have to let go of that protective streak and take the leap.”
“I never thought I’d see the day where you, of all people, want Eleven to get back together.”
“I don’t. Well, I mean, your own sound could be cool. You’re better than all that your love fits like a glove crap.”
“Those lyrics are not in any of Eleven’s songs.”
“You know what I mean. You’re so much better than that, and this is an opportunity to show off your amazing song writing skills and produce. I already know you can perform the shit out of anything.”
“It’s too selfish of me. I owe the next few years to Kaylee.”
Lyric grunts. “You’re so frustrating sometimes. You call me stubborn, but fuck, being happy doesn’t make you selfish, Ryder. I would kill for what you have offered to you, and you’re turning it down for a reason that doesn’t make sense anymore. I’m here. Maggie’s here. Kaylee won’t be alone.”
He’s making so much sense it hurts. It hurts that I’m holding myself back, and it hurts that this could affect Kaylee, but what hurts the most is knowing if I don’t take this opportunity, I will regret it.
“If you really don’t want to go back to Eleven, fine. But at least be a part of Harley’s new label. You could do so many good things with it. You brought me out of my head and made me put the music first. This is your chance to do it.”
“What about you?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Why haven’t you been going to auditions?”
Lyric leans against the chest of drawers by my bed. “I figure Kaylee starts school in a few months. I can hold off until then.”
“I don’t want to hold you back.” But I also don’t want him to go out there and get a record deal either. If I were to take Harley up on his offer, and then Lyric got signed, we would literally never see each other.
“You’re not. It’s my choice to take a few months off so I can be with you and Kaylee.”
But he shouldn’t have to do that!
He shouldn’t have to put us first.
The idea of it makes my stomach queasy yet warm at the same time. It makes me anxious yet content. Emotions I don’t understand bubble to the surface until I’m overrun by the urge to throw myself at him while simultaneously yelling at him for sacrificing anything for me.
“Why are you doing that?”
“If I really have to tell you, you’re not only a pretty boy bander with cliché and lazy lyrics, you’re also a dumbass.”
“How … romantic?”
“I’m doing it because I want to be with you! Properly. I mean, you said I was your boyfriend, and you didn’t hide it from Harley that we’re together, or at least sleeping together. I know you hate labels, but I want one, okay? I want one with you. I want you and Kaylee to be my family, and I want to do these things together. I want to make decisions together. I want to be included. I don’t think I’ve pushed, and maybe this is too much, but fuck, Ryd—”
I wrap my arms around him and cup the back of his head, sliding my fingers into his man bun as I pull him to me.
Our mouths crash together in an ungraceful mash of teeth and tongues and lips.
He tries to laugh, but I don’t let him.
I need to show him how much I need him and how much I want to claim him.
But I’m also scared to give him all of me, because if he leaves, he’ll take a huge chunk of me with him. I don’t want to hold him back, but he wants us to work it out together.
As a couple.
I kiss him until my lips hurt and his face is splotchy from my unshaven face.
When I pull away, we’re both breathing heavy, and we’re both hard. As much as I would love to take advantage of that right now, I need to go back downstairs and give Harley my answer.
“There’s one label I’m okay with having.”
“Yeah?” he breathes.
“Yours. I’m more than okay with being yours.”