Holding You Read online J.L. Beck, Cassandra Hallman (Blackthorn Elite Spinoff #1)

Categories Genre: Romance Tags Authors: , Series: Blackthorn Elite Spinoff Series by J.L. Beck
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Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 16561 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 66(@250wpm)___ 55(@300wpm)
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4

Carter

When her father walks away, all I can do is stare. I’m mesmerized by her, and I hate myself for being the stupid teenage boy who never stuck up for her. Back then, I stood by and let others hurt her, and even joined in at times. If I could go back in time and change things, I would, but I can’t. All I have is the present.

Instead of saying all the words we should, we just stare at each other. We are in this weird limbo together, where we know somebody should say something, but neither one of us wants to, least of all me. All I can do is stand here, admiring her beauty. Dark hair, piercing blue eyes, and a heart-shaped face needing to be held in my hands and kissed by my lips.

I’d always thought she was beautiful, the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. There was never a doubt in my mind that she blew all the other girls out of the water. In my eyes, no one compared to Daisy.

Even in all her craziness, there was something so angelic about her, something just begging to be discovered. She’s like a storm, chaos surrounding her, but deep down inside, in her core, she’s an angel, my angel. But she was broken then, so very broken, and I wasn’t sure I could save her.

I was a selfish prick, and the only reason I never stuck up for her is that I was worried about my reputation. Worried what my friends would have thought. I almost snort. Friends. What are those? None of those fuckers matter, they shouldn’t have mattered then, and they sure as hell don’t now.

Things have changed though, now I couldn’t care less about what anyone thought, but back then, I was nothing more than a kid. When college came, all I could do was watch from afar as guilt ate at me. I wanted her so badly, but I had screwed up before. I should have been there for her when she needed me, but I wasn’t, and I wasn’t going to try and come back into her life after being a part of the worst parts of it.

More often than not, I wondered if she too thought about me or noticed me watching her. Truth is while studying in Blackthorn, I was borderline obsessed with her, and eventually, I had to force myself to stop watching like a creep, to stop lingering in the corridors, praying that I would catch a glimpse of her. From afar, I had made sure no one picked on her, or messed with her, all while wanting her all to myself.

“You look beautiful,” I gather my wits and say, after what seems like an eternity. Her big blue eyes light up, but her nose crinkles like I’ve said something to displease her.

“Thank you, but you’re not required to say that. No flattery necessary, even if you did run into me.” She smiles, but I know a forced smile when I see one. I drag my gaze down her body, wishing I could unwrap her, see all her perfectly imperfect edges. I owe her an apology, a million times over, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get the chance to really apologize, and not just with words.

“You seem different,” I state the obvious.

She shrugs. “I grew out of the awkward teenage years, I guess.”

Her explanation is full of shit, a steaming hot pile that I can smell from a mile away, but because I want to enjoy her company, instead of arguing, I decide to let it go, for now.

“You seem different too… where is your date?” I blink, only slightly surprised by her question.

“I don’t have one,” I try not to let the anger I feel for my ex fill my words. She was supposed to be here with me tonight, but in a way, I’m glad she isn’t because Daisy is here.

“I’m just not used to seeing you without a woman on your arm.” I don’t miss the slight tone of jealousy in her voice. It’s barely there, but there, nevertheless.

“Well, I got dumped last night, so I’m all alone today.”

“Oh… I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just blurted that out. That was rude of me.” Her creamy white cheeks turn two shades of red.

“No, it’s okay…” I tell her, “Where is your date?” I try not to act like I care, but I really fucking care. I haven’t seen anyone with her tonight, or ever. As long as I’ve been watching her, I’ve never seen her even interested in anybody, but that doesn’t mean she’s alone.

“No, I don’t…” She looks down at her hands and then back up to me. “I’m single. No date or boyfriend.”

That only makes me crave her more. She’s free for the taking, and I don’t just want her, I need her. I have to make things right between us, prove to her that I’m more than the bastard from high school.


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