Total pages in book: 26
Estimated words: 24138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 80(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 24138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 121(@200wpm)___ 97(@250wpm)___ 80(@300wpm)
I have to fight the urge to punch my own twin brother in the face.
“Get out, Ricky,” I growl again. “What makes you think you have the right to claim him or her?”
Ricky sneers.
“You don’t know anything,” he whines again. “You just want to swoop in like a knight in shining armor. But it’s mine! That baby’s mine!” he exclaims, voice rising to a high-pitched shriek.
I snort.
“The fact that you’re talking about the baby like a piece of property tells me you don’t have the right!” I say, my voice rising dangerously. “Now give me a moment with Fiona!” And I grab Ricky by the front of his shirt with one hand, wrench the door open with the other, and throw him out, locking the door behind him.
I turn to face Fiona, who looks distraught. I compose myself, forcing the aggression and shock at Ricky’s unexpected appearance from my body.
“I’m sorry about that,” I say earnestly. “I had no idea he’d be here. He was the last person I expected to see.”
Fiona sighs, avoiding my gaze. Clearly she wasn't expecting him and isn’t pleased with it. But she’s not exactly happy to see me, either, it seems.
“Fiona,” I say gently in my deep voice. “I need to speak to you.” She doesn’t meet my eyes.
“What could you possibly have to say for yourself?” she asks, her normally innocent, light voice now deep with hurt and disappointment. I take a few steps forward so I can get on my knee beside her bed. Despite her efforts to remain composed, I can see this takes her by surprise. She slowly turns her head to face me.
“I’ve been an idiot,” I say simply and sincerely. “I’ve been miserable for the past six months. All I can think about is you.” Fiona’s big brown eyes flare up with hurt and anger.
“So where were you then? Why did you leave me all alone? What’s changed all of a sudden?” she throws at me. I have to be honest with her and hope she will understand and forgive me.
“I’ve learned a lot about myself since I met you, Fiona,” I say huskily. “Before I met you, all I cared about was making money. Working hard, working out, being the big boss. But when I met you it became clear to me that what I was really doing was keeping a demon at bay.”
“A demon?” she asks, her long lashed blinking, her brows furrowing. “What are you talking about?”
I take a deep breath and hope I don’t sound like a madman. This is the first time I’ve uttered these words out loud, let alone to the love of my life. With a surge of passionate warmth, I realize that’s what Fiona is to me. She needs to know the worst parts about me if I’m going to have a life with this gorgeous, innocent girl and our baby. So I begin to tell her my ugly truth, praying furiously that she doesn’t throw me out.
“I’ve always felt like there was a monster inside me,” I continue. “A thing that could be ugly and selfish and destructive. And so all these years I've kept my head down and worked hard and thrown myself into Karmax. I know now that it’s in both Ricky and me, that demon. But what makes us different is that I want to be better. I try to suppress it, whereas he’s let it take over. And now, that’s all Ricky is. A selfish prick who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He’s a monster now, with an eye to creating destruction wherever he goes. It’s why we don’t see eye to eye. It’s why he treated you the way he did.”
I stop for a moment, hesitating, but Fiona is listening. So I continue.
“When you told me you were pregnant but you didn't know for sure whether Ricky or I was the father, I was suddenly torn apart. You see, if I stayed I would give myself to you and the baby heart and soul - but if it ever turned out that the baby was Ricky’s, it would destroy me. And that monster that I’ve been keeping at bay all these years would be unleashed. There’s no telling what would happen or who I’d become. Like Ricky, maybe, or worse,” I say in a low voice. Fiona’s still listening, and what’s more, she seems to understand. So I continue. “I couldn't risk that, and as a result, I stayed away. I figured you and the baby would be better off without me.”
Her eyes snap my way suddenly.
“But what if the baby is yours, Dylan?” Fiona accuses me. “There’s just as much chance! You’d be giving up on your child, never mind me.”
I nod in agreement.
“I know,” I rasp, grateful we’re finally having this conversation. “And I hear you loud and clear now. But back then, I wasn’t able to think straight. I was upset at how things were playing out, and completely confused and angry. That changed. And then, I wanted to go back to you, but I was tormented and afraid I was going to screw it all up.”