Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
I hadn’t touched her yet, was afraid to let myself touch her, but when she crossed to me I grasped her hand. She was so trusting. I walked her to the far wall of the dungeon, past the solid wood and iron structures I’d use to restrain her.
You think you know rough, starshine. You think you like it rough and hard and violent. You have no idea yet.
I took her to stand in front of the two tall chests of drawers, and I started opening them, showing her what was inside. It was a ridiculously massive and lurid collection. Three years was a long time to fantasize.
There were plugs and vibrators, every kind of nipple clamp, spreaders, and leather gear with clips and O-rings I could use to truss her up however I pleased. I’d accumulated a few serious—and seriously expensive—chastity devices, because I’d imagined her on her knees begging for orgasms. I’d also acquired an ungodly number of punishment implements, because I’d imagined breaking her down into an enslaved puddle of please-let-me-please-you. I’m not even sure she knew what the chastity belts and harnesses were for. She knew what the paddles and crops and straps and floggers were for. There was also a whole drawer at the bottom full of canes.
“You see what I mean?” I asked. “You see what I mean when I say you won’t always feel turned on? You know I’m a sadist. Sometimes I’ll really hurt you. Not injure you, but hurt you until you cry and scream for me to stop. And I won’t stop, Chere. That’s not how I play. No softness, no safe words. In our relationship, I’ll make you miserable on purpose, because it makes me feel powerful and sexually aroused.”
She wouldn’t look at me. I had to tilt her chin up to focus her gaze.
“Are you listening?” I asked. “This is what I want. Not love. Not dinner and a movie. I want your body and your soul. Over the last few weeks, when I hurt you and fucked you, I let you go home afterward. You had that choice, to end things.”
She stared at me, her breathing shallow. “If we started up again, you wouldn’t let me end things?”
“No. Not if I didn’t want to.”
“So if I…” She looked around the silent dungeon. “If I agreed to that level of control… If I let you hurt me and enslave me the way you want, do you think you would ever be able to…to love me in return?”
Jesus Christ, she was killing me.
“You know I already love you,” I said, and with those words, my soul went broke. I confessed it. I admitted it. I loved her as I’d never loved anyone, and would never love anyone again. I also had to love her this way, or no way, because this was who I was. I took her in my arms and held her against my chest, touching her wild brown hair and her lovely feminine neck.
“Really, you wouldn’t let me go, even if I wanted to go?” she asked. “Even if I begged to go?”
“No,” I said, because love lies.
“Ever?”
Ever. A fairy-tale word. Happily ever after. I wanted us to live happily ever after. I knew I’d never find someone like her again, and if she was willing to put up with me....
“I don’t think I’ll ever want to let you go,” I told her. “If you let me have you, all of you, and then you decided you wanted to leave, I don’t think I’d be able to let you go. It’d be a really tough thing.”
“What if I had to get away?” she asked. “What if you’re just too awful? I guess I’d have to escape.”
“You could try.”
She was so twisted, my kinky girl. She wanted this. She wanted to be my prisoner of love. She wanted me to torment her and challenge her, and make her heart race. At some point, I knew she’d try to run away, just so I’d recapture her and punish her. All these lovely games were ahead of us. All the things in the drawers waited to be used on her body, to make it ache or burn with desire.
She’d cry here, and hate me, and chafe against my will. She’d also cling to me and orgasm. I could become her entire world, and her eyes would come alive each time I brought her into this room to work her over. It could happen.
“So, you want this?” I asked. My smile faded. It was time to be serious. If she wasn’t one hundred percent in, I couldn’t risk this kind of relationship.
“Do you think you could bear belonging to me?” I pressed. “It’s perfectly fine if you want to walk away. It would be better for you to walk away.”
She didn’t even think before she answered. “I don’t want to walk away. We need to be together. We’ll figure it out.”