Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 133531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 534(@250wpm)___ 445(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 534(@250wpm)___ 445(@300wpm)
A chill went down her spine. A premonition that whatever he was about to tell her was far worse than anything she might have conceived of. Rory wanted to know about Gideon’s past. She’d thought what drove him to be so protective had happened to him when he’d been living on the street, not when he’d had a home and family.
“He ran a whorehouse, but his favorite job was to do what he called “keep people in line.” That was his joy in life: to hurt others. To see their pain. He was very good at causing pain, and he knew a million ways, emotional and physical, to cause it. He expected me to follow in his footsteps, and he’d take me along with him to proudly show me his work.”
She inhaled the medicine because she couldn’t do anything else. Her heart hurt for that child. For Gideon. The stars above her blurred together. Beneath the blanket, she gripped her thigh hard with her free hand, wishing the world were a better place. Picturing Gideon as a child with his beautiful blue eyes and mop of curly black hair, his protective nature. The last thing he would ever want to do was to hurt someone. What was wrong with his father that he wouldn’t know that?
Gideon was in her head. Reading her mind.
“Red. He did know I couldn’t bear seeing him taking a hammer to a man or woman or child. Not to their pets. He wanted me to suffer. He enjoyed my pain and tears every bit as much as he enjoyed those of the ones he was torturing and killing. He was making a man out of me, he’d say. He’d try to force me to help him. He’d threaten to kill my sister if I didn’t help him. I had a dog, and he’d threaten to kill my dog. He’d beat me nearly every day to help me get tougher. He did it in front of my mother.”
Rory’s hand crept from under the blanket to her throat. She needed to feel the pulse of her heart beating there. Taking the nebulizer from her mouth, she lowered it to the table. “Didn’t your mother try to stop him?”
“She laughed and cheered him on. She was a junkie and would do whatever he said. She whored for him when his friends came over when he told her to. More than once, he had her heat up knives and press them into me. She would do it and laugh as she did, all the while telling me to stop being a baby if I made a sound.”
Rory wanted him to stop talking. He was peeling the layers away from those shadows inside him, the ones covering the part of him he was ashamed of. She no longer wanted him to share his horrific childhood traumas with her, but maybe he needed to.
“Inevitably, there came a time when he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and he insisted I torture my dog or my sister. I tried to go after him, but even after he beat me, he dragged Marietta outside and lifted the machete. I told him I’d do it. I killed my dog for him so he’d leave Marietta alone.” He whispered the confession, his face turned away from her.
“You didn’t do it for him, Gideon,” she contradicted gently. “You did it for your sister and you did it for your dog. You didn’t let the animal suffer, did you?” At the shake of his head, she continued. “He would have.”
“That still didn’t spare Marietta. Or Jaimie.” He whispered that as a confession as well.
Rory couldn’t stop herself. His pain was tangible to her, his terrible grief, as if his loss had just occurred. She slipped from her chair to straddle his lap, sliding her arms around his neck and laying her head against his chest, covering both of them with the blanket. His arms surrounded her, and he dropped his chin on top of her head, just holding her close to him.
“Marietta was my twin sister. We were close. I don’t think he liked me being close to anything or anyone. He didn’t want me to have friends or pets or sisters. He always referred to Marietta as a whore. He said she had no brain and was useless, but then he thought all women were whores and useless but for one thing.”
He fell silent. She felt the slight shake of his head, but she remained quiet. Waiting. He needed to get it out. Let it go. Tell someone. Her. He needed to tell her.
“I made a terrible mistake, Rory. I should have found a way to kill him. I knew I needed to do it. I knew I had to. I saw the way he looked at Marietta. I knew she was afraid of him. I wanted to think I could wait until I was older. It wasn’t that I was afraid I couldn’t do it. I knew I could. By that time, I’d been practicing a few psychic talents I accidentally discovered I had. With the birds. With concealing myself. A couple of other things. I worked at it all the time. I was smarter than he was. I knew I could kill him. I just wasn’t ready. But I waited too long, and Marietta suffered because of me. That’s on me. Then Jaimie.”