Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88218 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88218 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
When I dropped by to see how things were going because he seemed to be taking longer with Blondie than the others, it was only to warn Denver that the mutterings out by the pool were that he was giving her extra time.
After hearing her sing, I can see why she needed it, but I wasn’t expecting to walk in and find her practically in his lap.
I trust Denver not to cross professional lines because he’s been in the industry long enough to know it could fuck up his entire career by sleeping with a contestant. Despite that, the scene I walked in on was just too ick.
Then the Jealous kid sang all puppy-dog-eyed, and I wanted to tell him to back off too even though he was at a lot more professional distance.
The sickly feeling in my gut is because I’m looking out for Denver’s career. That’s all. Because I know what it’s like to lose one, and I don’t want the same for him. He’s too precious for this industry.
When I hear the sliding door to the guesthouse slide open, I raise my head. Denver’s tall but slim frame fills the space.
“Don’t tell me,” I whisper, “you found a naked contestant in your bed and you need me to rescue you.” I’m only half-joking.
“Nope, but all the bullshit you put in my head about it made me too conscious of every single sound in that house. I couldn’t sleep in case I did wake up to someone trying to climb into bed with me.”
“Like you’re doing to me right now?”
“Hey, you offered, and it wouldn’t be the first time this has happened.”
“True.” I shuffle over. “Get in here, then.”
The bed dips as he crawls into the spot next to me.
I’m suddenly aware of this only being a double bed, and I’m a lot bigger than I used to be. Denver’s body heat warms my side, and my cock twitches in my sleep pants.
Huh. That’s new.
Although, not all that surprising. I haven’t shared a bed with someone in … eighteen months? Somewhere around there. Right before everything blew up and I ran home to Momma.
All those years of only wanting temporary fun and treating women like they were disposable made moving home so much lonelier. It felt like every hookup was a waste. Even the fleeting highs I got from it didn’t make them worth it.
“You were really good today,” Denver says, his voice quiet and unsure. “You helped them out more in one session than I have the entire show.”
“It’s because you’re too nice.”
Denver laughs. “Fucking am not.”
“Okay, I’ll rephrase. All those advisors and managers and PR specialists the label gave us got too much into your head. You always think about what you’re going to say publicly before you say it because you know anything could come back to bite you in the ass. Therefore, you don’t know how to be honest with the contestants without feeling guilty they might take it the wrong way.”
“Mm, that sounds more like it.”
I roll onto my side to face him. “It’s admirable that you want to help them, but like you said, you don’t really get a say in this, do you? If the producers are all behind who’s going through to the next round, you may as well educate them on the things you know about the industry instead of trying to teach them how to win. Prepare them for all the bullshit coming their way if they get picked up outside of the show.”
“It wasn’t all bullshit, was it? You talk about it like you never had fun.” His eyes shine in the dark, the faint glow from the pool lights the only thing keeping the room from being pitch-black.
“If I had to pick the best thing I got out of it … well, yeah, it would’ve been you once upon a time.”
He leans up on his elbow and stares down at me. “But not anymore?”
My lips curve at the sides. “I’m slowly coming around.”
“How against being on film are you?”
I frown. “Why do you ask?”
“I want to get what you did today on the show. It could put you back in the public eye in a positive light. You, taking time to help up-and-coming acts? I’m sure the producers would go for it because no one has seen you in, like, forever. No one knows where you’ve been.”
“Yes, they do, thanks to those photos. And I’m not …” I almost say I’m not back to where I was physically, but just like walking in on Denver and Blondie, I get that overly sick feeling in my gut. It’s an I hate this industry feeling, and I tell myself I should fight against the body shaming.
Things will be said online—things always are. If it’s not about my weight, then it will be about how I’ve aged ten years instead of eighteen months.