Total pages in book: 39
Estimated words: 36489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36489 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
“Of course, I saved you! Rycks too! You think we’d simply let you drown?”
“Well, if I had any doubt about what kind of people you guys are, it’s been resolved. Thank you.” Then she looked away a little wistfully.
I snagged her chin and turned her head back to face me. Looking into her eyes, I realized there was something there I never thought to see. Mixed with relief and gratitude, there was also a wistful kind of… resignation? Disappointment? That couldn’t possibly be right.
“What’s going on with you, girl?” My whispered question made her eyes go wide.
“Nothing,” she said. Her voice was so soft I nearly didn’t hear her.
“Don’t lie to me,” I said, gripping her shoulders. “You scared me nearly to death. I think I have a right to know what just went through your head. Because it wasn’t only gratitude for us saving your life.”
She sighed, closing her eyes and wincing slightly. “You only gave me a stay of execution,” she muttered, still not meeting my gaze even though I’d all but forced her. “I don’t want to die, Reaper. But it’s inevitable.”
“You’re gonna have to explain what that means. It’s inevitable we all die, honey. It’s the circle of life and all.”
She looked at me then. “That’s right.” She smiled then tried to pull away.
“Swan,” I gave her what I hoped was a threatening look. In reality, it might have been a pleading one. I had to know what was going on. Not just because I’d decided she might just be mine, but because something was hurting her. And it was more than physical.
With an exasperated sigh, she took my hand and placed it high on her outer thigh near her hip. Even through her shorts I could feel a slight prominence. It was rounded and uneven. Not too large -- it probably wouldn’t be readily visible unless you were looking for it.
“What’s that?” My fingers traced the edges of it. It was hard. Not malleable. “Does it hurt?”
“Yes,” she said, though she didn’t push my hand away. I was careful as I continued to examine it with my fingers.
“What is it?”
“A tumor attached to my bone. The doctors called it a high-grade osteosarcoma. They took every image they could think of. Chemo had no effect, and it continued to grow.”
“They try removin’ it?”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t let them.”
That struck me as odd. I’m sure I looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “Why the fuck not?” I know I sounded angry, but I couldn’t help it. Here was a beautiful, young woman with some type of bone cancer, and she wasn’t treating it as aggressively as she could?
“Because I don’t want them removing my leg. They told me they thought my cancer would be classified as regional, which means it had already spread into the lymph nodes and surrounding areas. The survival rate was a little over fifty-fifty over five years, but they still weren’t sure. As high up as it’s located, they’d probably have to take part of my pelvis, too. Where does that leave me then? Will they go far enough I have a colostomy? Will I have a urinary catheter the rest of my life? Can I even have sex after that kind of surgery? I certainly wouldn’t be able to have children.” She shook her head. “If I’m going to die, it’s gonna be on my own terms. I’m not spending the rest of my life feeling like a freak of nature. Something that lived that shouldn’t have.”
“Honey, do you know that’s what will happen? Did the doctors tell you that?”
“They didn’t have to, Reaper. I could see it in their eyes.” Then she tilted her head to the side before chuckling. “That’s pretty good.” She continued to chuckle as she moved away from me toward the beach. I didn’t let her out of my grasp, but followed her.
“What’s pretty good?”
“Your name. Reaper.” She looked back at me, meeting my gaze full on this time. “Perfect for a girl like me.”
“Fuck,” I swore, scrubbing my hand over my face. “Where are you staying, Swan?”
She shook her head. Once we were on the shore, she spread her hands wide. “Anywhere I fucking want. I slept on the beach last night. I woke up to see the sunrise. It was on my bucket list.”
“That’s right. You’re marking things off your bucket list.”
“I am. I’m not sure how much time I have, but my leg hurts worse every day. I’m trying to get to the stuff I’ll need the full use of my legs for first. After that, I’ll do the smaller stuff.”
When she started away from me, I snagged her hand, continuing beside her. “Fine. Show me your list, and I’ll help you.”
“I -- what?” She looked up at me in confusion. “Help me?”