Dirty Bad Secrets Read Online Jade West

Categories Genre: BDSM, Contemporary, Dark, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101561 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
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Faye really was nervous then. I could see it written all over her face.

“Do you like them?” she said.

I nodded. “Clever.”

“I thought it would be a nice touch, symbolic...”

“Indeed.”

She let it slide, waving goodbye to Topaz and continuing her mission to drag me around the place and point out every little feature, and through every single one she became more desperate, more enthusiastic, ever more keen to see me lose my shit and scream and wail and gush about how exciting it all was, but I wasn’t in that place, not even close.

“Are you ok?” she asked, finally. “You seem a little… distant.”

“I guess I’m just tired.”

She smiled. “But the night hasn’t even begun yet, you’d better find some energy from somewhere.”

“I think I’ll probably stay in the office,” I said. “Watch most of it through the security feed.”

Her face bloomed like I’d slapped her. “You’re not coming?”

“Of course I’m coming, I’m in the building, aren’t I? That counts.”

“No, it doesn’t count.” She smiled to hide her upset, and I felt like a cunt. I was being a cunt. And yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

I excused myself as the first guests made their way through, and Faye would have followed me, I know it, if Topaz hadn’t pulled her away saying she needed her at front of house.

Faye’s eyes looked back at mine as we went our separate directions and hers were hurt, they were hurt so badly I could have stopped breathing, stopped walking, pulled her into my arms and promised her everything she ever wanted.

But I didn’t. I just kept on walking.

***

Faye

“Hey!” Topaz dashed along behind me, grabbing my elbow before I disappeared into the storeroom. “Faye, what’s wrong?”

I could feel the tears pooling at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill over and ruin my eyeliner. I tried to stop my lip quivering, and shrugged, mute.

She knew of course. She pulled me into an embrace so much shorter than me, but it didn’t matter. Our sweet little Topaz was growing up. She was wise, and empathic and confident in a way that she hadn’t been when I’d first arrived back, and now she was putting it to great use as my little crutch.

“He doesn’t mean it,” she soothed. “He’s just difficult. It’s probably hard for him to admit this place is fucking rocking tonight.”

“I thought he’d be happy,” I whimpered. “I thought he’d be proud.” And that was it, the tears fell and there was nothing I could do about it. “He expects everything,” I sobbed. “He wants me to work hard, I work hard, he wants me to do a good job and I try my best and he hates it. He wants to be with me, but he won’t be with me, not how I need him to be. He’s hot and cold, and snarky, and bitter and difficult. Always fucking difficult. He’s such an asshole, Topaz. He’s such a fucking asshole.”

“But you love him anyway.” Her voice was so quiet but so firm.

And she was right.

I’d always loved Andy Morgan. I’d always been in love with Andy Morgan. I’d been in love with him since the moment I met him, since before I knew anything about him, and it may not have been real then but it sure felt real now.

I’d loved him too much for an unreciprocated relationship. Too much to bear him smiling at me before going off to fuck other people, no matter how much I loved our club.

I’d had to run a long fucking way away to forget about him.

Right into the arms of a tosser called Vincent fucking Blackthorne.

And then I’d run right back again.

But it was too late. Andy Morgan would never forgive me for it, and he’d never let me forget it, either. And he shouldn’t. I didn’t deserve it. I’d left him with all of this in his lap for three fucking years and hadn’t even bothered calling to say hello. Running this club was harder than I thought, so much harder than I remembered.

He had every right to hate me, and every right to tell me to leave.

“I don’t mean to poop on your pity party,” Topaz said. “But that’s your night out there. Enjoy it. Fuck what he thinks and what he wants. You put the work in and you should enjoy it.”

“I don’t know if I can enjoy it without him.”

She rolled her eyes, and it shocked me so much I laughed through my tears. “You’re both as bad as each other,” she snapped. “Get the fuck out there and rock that party, or I might be slapping both of your asses one of these days.”

I really didn’t see that one coming.

***

Andy

I poured myself a triple whisky and kicked my feet up on my desk while my club partied without me. The place was heaving, I could see it on the monitors, and whatever email PR Faye had put together had worked like a dream. The club was a sea of masks and bodies, and those bodies were moving, dancing, laughing. The club was alive. It dazzled with life.


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