Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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“Are you kidding? I think I could watch you eat bread all night.”

I nearly snort. “Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious,” he challenges. “There’s something uninhibited about it, and I can appreciate that about someone who’s normally very careful.”

Taken aback, I search his eyes closely. “You think I’m careful?”

“Oh, Sam. Please don’t take that in any way as an insult. I think you’re careful because you have to be. You’re a single mom, you know?”

I nod, putting down my roll on my bread plate temporarily. “There isn’t a ton of room for taking chances.”

“I get that. And I’m thrilled you took the chance to come out with me tonight. But I also understand that I’ll have to earn another chance after this one.”

I lift my eyebrows. “Another chance? After this one?”

How is it possible that he’s not balls deep in escaping this date? If I were him, I’d be excusing myself to the bathroom and pulling a cliff dive off the roof just to get the hell out of here.

He chuckles. “Listen to me, already planning our second date. I should probably just concentrate on the first, huh?”

I nod slightly, picking up my bread to tear pieces off it again.

It might be harsh, but I truly don’t know if I’m ready to do this at all, much less commit to doing it again before our dinner entrees have even arrived.

“I am having a good time, though,” I add, my voice quieter than I’m used to. “Just…so you know.”

“Good. I’m glad. And you haven’t even tried their seafood risotto yet, so I can only earn more points from here.”

“So…I…” I put my bread down on the little plate in the corner of my place setting again and dust my hands before attempting to meet Gavin’s eyes. “Well, I know it’s a little strange for a grown woman, but I don’t actually eat seafood.”

“Really?”

I wince and shrug, bracing myself for criticism. “Really.”

Gavin’s smile is disarming. It’s the opposite reaction I used to get from my ex-husband Todd. He used to roast me to no end about being a full-grown woman who wouldn’t touch an entire category of food, and it wasn’t quite as fun as the ones you see celebrities do on Comedy Central.

“Consider your preference noted. What do you like? What are your favorites?”

“My favorites?”

He nods.

“Honestly? I’ll eat pretty much anything but seafood.”

“Okay, but what would you choose to eat if given all the options?”

Me? Choosing dinner for myself without trying to accommodate anyone else’s preferences?

“Fancy Chinese food. Or braised beef short ribs. Or a really, really good pasta. Oh! Or a juicy steak with extravagant sauces and sides.”

Gavin chuckles. “Got it. I don’t think we’ll be able to hit all of those in one night, though.” His mouth lifts into a smirk. “But that means there’s potential for a lot of chances. And I’m okay with that.”

I open my mouth to tell him how surprised I am that this evening doesn’t feel like a disaster at all, when a loud shriek in the kitchen yanks at my attention and that of everyone else in the restaurant. My eyebrows draw together, but I don’t have time to be confused for long. Sudden and startling, the sprinkler system kicks on, dousing us and the entire dining room of patrons in a spraying glory of cold water.

“Ah!” I shout, so caught off guard I feel frozen. Gavin recoils at the unexpected drowning too, but he gets his bearings a hell of a lot quicker than I do. Jumping up from his chair in a hurry, he pulls me out of mine and hustles us outside with the herd of other people seeking dry ground like us.

I can feel the water soaking through my black dress—thank God it’s the friendliest color and thus the most prominent in my closet—and my nipples starting to perk through the lace of my bra. If I weren’t so confused about just about everything in my life, I might have used the opportunity to imagine what Gavin’s dark head would look like if he were to play with them.

But I am confused. And all the normal female desires inside me feel dulled and disorganized.

Don’t get me wrong, Gavin’s been charming and handsome, and I can say with one hundred percent certainty, it’s not his fault I’m feeling so numb.

No, life did that long before he ever could have.

Three women who I know were previously dressed to the nines scuttle by us on the sidewalk, their mascara running down their faces with an unfortunate intensity. One of them is crying a little, and for as bad as I feel for her, it breaks a dam inside me.

I start to laugh.

Rolling, shoulder-shaking waves that take over my body as I throw my head back and look up to the dark night sky nestled between the huge buildings of Manhattan. Gavin looks on and even starts to nervous chuckle to himself when my laugh turns more manic.


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