Behind Closed Doors Read Online Brittainy C. Cherry, Kandi Steiner

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Romance Tags Authors: ,
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Total pages in book: 9
Estimated words: 9848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 49(@200wpm)___ 39(@250wpm)___ 33(@300wpm)
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— K

if you leave me, I’ll let you go

i won’t hold you to a promise you made in a

momentary time

when love seemed like enough to carve out forever

— B

Some stories do not get a happily ever after.

Some end on page 38, instead,

the place where you only expect it to get better,

the chapter that seemed to lead to another,

the paragraph that seemed to point to forever,

but it doesn’t.

And those stories are the hardest to live,

the hardest to let go of,

and the hardest to forget.

But we love to read them, anyway.

— K

The door opens, and you love me so loudly in public places.

You praise me to your friends as you hold my hand.

Your mother tells me that I’m the one.

The door closes, and you

make

me

shrink.

— B

I’m done waiting.

For you

for them

for myself

to realize that I am worth

more than you say.

Today, I stop waiting

and I start living

the life

that I deem

is mine to live.

— K

I hate the way you made me love you only

to leave my heart bleeding against the carpet

as you shared yourself with another.

— B

I miss him so bad, it physically hurts. I swear there is this tear in my heart that will always be there and his name is tattooed right above it. And every morning, and every day, and every night, it stings like a fresh cut wound. Like I accidentally picked the scab again and it just will never heal. And I’ll be forever destined to just feel that fucking tear like a paper cut on my soul. Sometimes a dull ache... other times so sharp it’s almost like being cut all over again.

— K

My door has been cracked by dozens who swung it open without care.

They twisted my doorknob without a single knock.

I was banged against the wall as they tore through my protective screen.

They kicked me shut after hammering against my fatigue frame.

Then, you gently knocked and waited until I invited you in.

Timidly, you opened me slow,

and repainted every peeling piece of me

with a vibrant color

of hope.

— B

Make your plans. Find the woman that fits in that box — that one you envisioned as a boy. That woman who bends and prays, who cooks and cleans, who bears your children in a house on a hill. But life laughs at our plans, and when the day comes, and you realize, throwing your head back as you laugh at yours? I’ll already be too far gone to come back.

— K

you can’t put back together

the pieces of me that you snipped away

hoping that I would be whole again

and love you the same way

— B

You,

and me.

That was all

I ever needed.

— K

how dare you leave,

yet still haunt my sweetest fantasies.

— B

When I wanted to text you,

call you,

pick up that phone and

somehow reach across the miles,

when I wanted to feel you,

hear you,

see you,

when I wanted to lean into your arms

when I wanted you to fix me

to take the pain…

It was on those days

those nights

when I wanted all those things

but didn’t break and ask for them

that I got a little stronger.

— K

When they call me pretty:

I deflect

I avoid

I simply don’t believe

I change the subject

I don’t take the praise

Because, at one time, the world told me I was ugly

due to the size of my waist and the roundness of my face

Somewhere in my soul, that’s all I believe,

even though so many new people

compliment me.

— B

I wear your hoodie

at night

and pretend its arms

wrapped around me

are yours.

But it doesn’t smell

like you

anymore.

— K

His love felt like thunderstorms.

Yours baptized me.

— B

Sometimes I wish I could skip to the next time in my life when I’m completely, blissfully happy and in love. But then I remember that this pain is part of the process, too. It’s important. It has to be felt, heartache — just the same as joy.

— K

I fell too fast, without thought.

Like the unstable autumn leaves drifting toward you.

I slipped through your fingertips. You weren’t ready to catch me.

You reached out in winter, yet I wasn’t ready to trust again.

My heart was frostbitten with ice crystals of the past.

Spring awakened me.

I came back to life after a season of growing pains.

Summer’s breeze reminded me of you.

The taste of honeysuckle and watermelon rested against my lips.

We crossed paths again, yet the sunlight didn’t burn our skin this time.

We were sun-kissed.

— B

Heartbreak either softens you,

like dough,

kneading you into something so sensitive

you can’t be touched without the

person who touched you leaving a handprint.

Or,

it hardens you.

like a mountain molded by the

rushing rivers,

slowly built,

impossible to break,

and only the brave can climb their way through.

— K

Be gentle when you land against me.

For I know how the sweetest taste of nectar

can sometimes involve many bee stings.

— B

Each day, I feel you slip a little more through my fingers. Just like everyone said, I’m slowly letting you go. I’m moving on. Yes, the world is still turning. And I’m supposed to be proud, happy — this is what I should want. But I can’t celebrate a world where you don’t exist.‬‬‬‬


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